In Search of Erotic Intelligence

I believe that the type of sex should be consensual between two partners be it traditional or erotic. Equality, fairness and tolerance which are the main core values of the "American way of life" should not be brought into the bedroom. By saying that i do not mean that the man should be the dominant one or vice versa. I mean that things like role play or erotic fetishes should be equally shared and understood by the couple. This helps with the sexual relationship of the couple. It is true that nowadays we live more busy and complex lives than people did sixty or seventy years ago but time should also be made for sexual activities.

I like the way the therapist in the case of Terry tried to awaken his dormant sexual senses without putting his marriage at risk. He describes his wishes and desires towards his German au pair as immature and adolescent. Also he describes that if he did happen to act on his fantasies, he would probably being far away from the safe place that he calls home. The therapist actually made Terry see things in a different light and actually awoke his sexual feelings. This happened when he was actually turned on by his wife when she was talking about her ex boyfriend instead of feeling jealous and irritated. People are quick to want to sexually experiment with other people rather than their partners because they think that their sex lives don't have the excitement or energy any more, yet they create an imaginative sex life. This could be through pornography or cybersex. This is because there is no real connection with that person but just an imaginative one. Intimacy with your partner also plays a major role in that it can sabotage sexual desires because one or both of the partners can become desexualized. This is mainly due to the fact that a loved one is a source of security and stability.

(+1) I have heard more erotic and sexually oriented songs on the radio since i have been here than i ever heard in my native India, where the famous book of erotic sex was published hundreds of years ago, "The Karma Sutra". I believe that we are all human first. Whether you are male or female we all have our human sexuality and our ways of controlling it. In a relationship sex should play an equal part just like anything else we do to keep the relationship strong. It may just come down to the old saying. "You always want what you don't have", or, "The grass is always greener on the other side".

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