Excerpet of Wallace and the Golden Apple: A Play

ACT 1: SCENE 1

TIME. PRESENT DAY

SETTING. IN THE MAGIC CASTLE IN A FAR-AWAY WORLD CALLED SCYTHIA (SY-THI-A)

[THE STAGE SHOULD BE COMPLETELY DARK AND SILENT. SUDDENLY THE SOUND OF MULTIPLE TRUMPETS BLARING ARE HEARD.]

[LIGHTS UP ON THE NARRATOR. THE NARRATOR SHOULD BE AT THE CENTER OF THE STAGE. THE LIGHTING SHOULD MAKE IT APPEAR AS IF THE NARRATOR IS SUSPENDED IN MID-AIR (IF POSSIBLE). HE SHOULD ALSO HAVE A GUITAR FOR NARRATING.]

NARRATOR. [PLAYING WITH HIS GUITAR IN A HAPPY, SING-SONG WAY.]

TODAY’S THE DAY WHEN THE PEOPLE WILL CROWD.

TODAY’S THE DAY WHEN THE PEOPLE WILL SHOUT.

TODAY’S THE DAY WHEN THE SON IS OUT.

TODAY’S THE DAY WHEN THE BOY IS LOUD.

[LIGHTS UP TO REVEAL THE MAGIC CASTLE. THE NARRATOR APPEARS TO BE ON TOP OF THE MAGIC CASTLE. HE CRAWLS TO THE DOOR OF THE MAGIC CASTLE AND KNOCKS GENTLY. THE DOOR OPENS AND HE WALKS INSIDE TO SHOW THE AUDIENCE WHO THE BABY BOY IS. THE KING AND THE QUEEN ENTER ONSTAGE TO SEE THE NARRATOR HOLDING A BOTTLE OR A TOY.]

KING. GO YOU PEST!

QUEEN. LEAVE AT ONCE! [SHE AND THE KING CHASE THE NARRATOR OFFSTAGE. THE BABY STARTS TO CRY. SHE YELLS.] BEAUTY! POWER! WISDOM! [THE THREE FAIRYS ENTER ONSTAGE. BEAUTY ENTERS BRUSHING HER HAIR WITH A MAGICAL PINK HAIRBRUSH. POWER ENTERS SHOWING HER MUSCLES. EVERYONE IN THE MAGIC CASTLE AWES. WISDOM ENTERS PRACTICING SOME SPELLS IN HER SPELLBOOK.] ARE YOU READY TO WOW ME?

THE THREE FAIRYS. YES!

QUEEN. NOW MAKE HIM HAPPY.

[AFTER AN HOUR, THE THREE FAIRYS STOP PREFORMING TRICKS. IT IS TIME TO OPEN THE GIFTS EACH FAIRY HAD BROUGHT. HERE THE WITCH ENTERS, QUICKLY WRAPPING A GIFT AND STANDING ON THE LINE FOR “THE GIVING OF THE GIFTS.” SHE GRINS AND MAKES A SOFT EVIL LAUGH.]

WITCH. [WHISPERING] I’LL SOON BE ABLE TO CURSE THIS CHILD. HA HA HA HA HA!

[THE WITCH DISGUISES HERSELF AS AN OLD LADY.]

BABY. [CRIES.]

QUEEN. SORRY, DEAR. [THE QUEEN CALMS THE BABY DOWN.]

BEAUTY. I’LL GO FIRST. [BRINGS A WRAPPED BOX TO THE BABY.] AWWW. YOU’RE SUCH A CUTIE-PUTIE.

BABY. [LAUGHS.]

[BEAUTY MAKES A SPELL. SHE TOSSES A RED BOWTIE TO THE BABY, WHO CONTINUES TO LAUGH.]

BEAUTY. IF YOU WEAR THAT MAGICAL BOWTIE, YOU’LL BE THE MOST HANDSOME BOY IN ALL OF THE WORLD.

[POWER COMES NEXT. SHE BRINGS A BOX SIMILAR TO BEAUTY’S. HERE POWER QUICKLY WALKS TO THE BABY. SHE ALSO MAKES A SPELL.]

POWER. [SHE SPEAKS VERY FAST, EXCITEDLY, AND VERY LOUD.] MY, MY, MY! HELLO, HELLO! YOU KNOW WHAT’S BETTER THAN BEING BEAUTIFUL. [WAITS FOR THE BABY TO RESPOND. THE BABY DOESN’T RESPOND.] INFINITE POWER! YOU WILL BE THE MOST POWERFUL PERSON IN THE ENTIRE GALAXY.

WISDOM. NO, HE WOULDN’T. [PUSHES POWER ASIDE AND LOOKS AT THE AUDIENCE] DO YOU THINK HE INTERESTED IN BEING BEAUTIFUL OR HAVING INFINITE