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Critical Analysis of an Ineffective Academic Essay

Essay by   •  February 6, 2012  •  Case Study  •  522 Words (3 Pages)  •  2,158 Views

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In The Extended School Day, Harriet David writes about the advantages of extending school days for the students, parents, and teachers. David states that having extended school days would eliminate the parents' worries of whether their child is safe and happy at home. She also expresses that students would have a chance to work on subjects that give them trouble rather than struggling at home with no help. Teachers would also benefit from these extended days because they would gain hours relieving pressure and increasing their pay. Above all, the author has written this essay ineffectively because of three essential elements not being composed skillfully. The three essential elements that cause this essay to be written ineffectively are the introduction and conclusion, diction (word choice) and tone (formal or informal), and sentence structure.

The first essential element that is causing this essay to be written ineffectively is the introduction and conclusion. These two paragraphs are considered special paragraphs in an academic essay. The introduction is supposed to establish the significance of the subject by commenting on opening lines and providing the thesis and the conclusion closes the discussion persuasively by presenting a clear argument based on summary of the points. In David's writing, the introduction does not prepare the reader for the upcoming reading at length or contains attention getting lines. The introduction itself in the students paper, is more like a summary of a child's life without an extend school day than a summary of what the whole essay is precisely about. In the conclusion, it lacks driving the argument towards proving the main point. To resolve the problem the writer should focus on making sure the introduction talks more about the main points the essay is bout, using attention getting opening lines, and making sure the conclusion closes the essay with a clear understanding of all the points in the paper.

The second essential element that is causing this essay to be written ineffectively is diction (word choice) and tone (formal or informal). Diction is known as word choice which makes an essay have sophisticated and precise words that represent your thoughts. Tone normal sets the essay as serious and informal. The student well writing this essay did not use much diction. In paragraph three and four it lacked sophisticated and precise words and the tone was not serious. The student writer should go back and reread the two paragraphs and use words that sound more complex and set a serious tone. With this in mind, fixing the diction and tone throughout the essay will be a step in the right direction to making you essay correct.

The last essential element that causes this essay to be ineffective is the sentence structure. The sentence structure is a key part of an essay; it has a subject which is the main idea (noun) and verb which is a word that expresses action.



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