Imagine You Are Posner, and Write an Extract from His Scrap Book Reflecting on His Time at School.

I suppose looking back I would have been saying far different from what I'm saying today, in many ways. I could interrogate or talk about the days of sitting and listening to Irwin nonstop, but I won't don't that don't worry 'sir'. To look at me, he, he first must have thought "I'm a Jew. I'm Small. I'm, homosexual. And I live in Sheffield. I'm fucked" but once I said that so you can't.

It was hard don't get me wrong, I mean, with all the other boys there 'all the effort went into getting there and then I had nothing left'. It was hard, but all the pressure, the influence, the relationships paid off. All my life I've been one of those squatting at the front. I don't care about Oxford and Cambridge. I'd just like to graduate. I guess I was always at the front, always the one that got noticed. Or I like to think I did... (Dakin).

I guess sometimes it does feel weird, yes. Don't get me wrong. I sing to myself thinking optimistically of how Scripps wouldn't approve. Or what Dakin would think... I guess it'd be nice to see them all again, go for a drink but I don't know as Roger Ebert once said 'Your intellect may be confused, but your emotions will never lie to you.'

But you can't live in the past 'If you want to conquer fear, don't sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.' Dale Carnegie very smartly once said. That's how I feel, how it feels to not know what to do, to have not made any achievement and once and for all not know where to stand. Sometimes it was hard, it still is, I sometimes wish we could go back yes, don't get me wrong, but it wouldn't be right.

I sometimes wonder what it'd be like to see Hector again, he helped me find myself find my foot steps and helped me figure out my youth. Even tell me about his youth. I sometimes like to think about my connection with Irwin though, even though he was more encountered towards Dakin. Maybe that's why we didn't get along. He could sense my jealousy. I knew that I couldn't let him sense my weakness as he already seemed to walk all over me.

Overall, even though at the time I was weak, I wasn't. I was me. 'I don't have big anxieties. I wish I did. I'd be much more interesting' Roy Lichtenstein. This was me. This is how I saw myself. But not anymore, that place made me stronger, achieve. And that is how I remember it. It's the small details that matter. It's those I still conquer.

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