Ecofeminism Case

In order to move forward, we must turn backward. This is where goddess mythology becomes significant for ecofeminism and spirituality. We must obtain, as Rosemary Radford-Ruether states, "a reintegration of human consciousness and nature must reshape the concept of God, instead of modeling God after alienated male consciousness, outside of and ruling over nature" (Radford-Ruether, 21). The goddess, "the immanent source of life that sustains the whole planetary community" (Radford-Ruether, 21) therefore becomes our life source and where we must return to in order to return to balance.

I stood at the edge of the ocean, with the tips of my toes teased by the salty water, holding my newborn daughter in my arms. Feeling very much one with nature I longed for an understanding to which woman were subdued into submission and how I could raise a strong, spiritual daughter in such a suppressed male driven society; a daughter who could feel peace, beauty, self-respect with a drive to protect herself, her God given right of womanhood and love mother earth protecting her and yet still maintain a balance. I realized as I stood on that beach with the sand beneath my feet and the ocean and moon pulling on my heartstrings, as if the earth was screaming, "look to your roots, the answer is there," but before I could find my roots I had to first recognized and acknowledge what was staring me right in the face.

I am going to take you on a very personal journey, because in order to understand the importance of Goddess mythology and spirituality in my life, one must first understand where I have come from.

My life began as a male abandoned daughter to a mother who came close to choosing abortion. Clearly we know her ultimate choice, but right from the beginning of my existence I felt unwanted, less than and unimportant, not even good enough to hold the right of a father.

As I grew I was raised within a strong LDS (Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, the Mormon's) as my Christian upbringing. This was my first introduction into patriarchal society, in which the role of the male is the primary authority figure and in which God is the first, men are second. Here women are less than, submissive and second place to men.

I remember growing up and watching my mother work, submit to my stepfather and struggle behind closed doors to feel good about herself for bearing a child out of wedlock. My mother raised six children, nearly alone as my stepfather pursued his passions for hobbies such as fishing, camping, hunting, career and education. My mother never complained, but this was how she was raised. She, as nearly all other women before her and after her to date, walk this world "bound".

This was my role model. I remember vividly as I approached graduation, my mother preparing me to find a husband and preparing me for wedlock stating to me, "do anything your husband wants, because if you don't, he will find it somewhere else." Gag, it still makes me shutter to even think it. That is what was expected of me, that is what was expected within my religion, that is what society expects, but something inside my soul screamed.

As I moved out of my parent's home I struggled, all of these expectations, pressures keeping me bound to the patriarchal chains. I felt gagged and bound by societal expectations, exploitation and feeling that I was worthless. I hated myself and even more hated being a woman.

When I started having children I prayed my first born would be a son, because it would be unfair to raise a daughter in such a male dominant society. I was blessed with a son. My second child, again I prayed for a son for the same looming reasons as before. However, it was a little girl and the second she was born and the instance she was placed in my arms I felt a connection, a strength, an empowerment as well as a fear.

As I continued on through the years little seemed to change. I still struggled for roots, for answers. I challenged my religion, believing in God, but how could God, a man, understand me, a woman? Where was my Godly mother and why were we forbidden to call upon her.

The closest relationship I had with understanding my roots was Eve from within Christianity; however, "It remains deeply imbedded in both male and female ideas about the nature and destiny of women, and the attitudes it has engendered are embodied in the psychology, laws, religious life, and social structures of the Western world - not to mention the most intimate of human activities" (Phillips, p.172). "I am Eve, the wife of noble Adam; it was I who violated Jesus in the past; it was I who robbed my children of heaven; it is I by right who should have been crucified" (Baring and Cashford, p.526).

Woman since the time of Eve have been condemned to be second to the male. "No longer are women created in the image of Goddess to share in her experiences, such as childbirth. No longer are they priestesses. Instead, woman now belongs to man and is to find her fulfillment in him and in motherhood (Westernmann, as cited in Phillips, p. 115).

Having that prejudice and camel on my back I later came to the understanding that Eve was not the peril in which I should hang my head, but Lilith, Adam's first wife, before Eve, who was rebellious, and would not submit to Adam. Lilith, I very much relate to in that we both believe in equality and independence, but per legend, this was insubordinate and gave way to stories of Lilith's demonization.

Where I have much admiration for Lilith and her belief's she only adds to already preconceived societal prejudices.

Here I was, feeling I had crawled through time and discovered my roots, to which would give me answers on how to find a balance only left me feeling less powerful and more dominated over.

It really wasn't until I took this class Goddess Mythology, Women's Spirituality, and Ecofeminism that I realized my roots spread far deeper than just within the confines of religion or stop at Lilith and Eve.

This is where goddess mythology becomes significant for me, for ecofeminism and for spirituality. Prior to this class, I had studied Goddess Mythology within grade school, but it was legends, stories, but nothing of great significance, nothing that would lend to my right as a woman, nothing that would aid in strength, spirituality, empowerment, nature or creation. So, it is here within this class I have found not only my roots, but also my seed from whence my roots have grown.

Quite

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