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Poor Communication in Relationships

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Communication is the essence of the human existence. Without it, humans could not evolve. "Communication with other people helps us understand ourselves, others, andour world; our bonds with siblings, friends, lovers, neighbors, colleagues, and classmates give our lives meaning (Sole, 2011)". Communication is the activity of conveying meaningful information. Miscommunication is the exact opposite. When people communicate, it takes at least two individuals to partake in a conversation. If only one person was involved, communication would not be possible.

In the article "Close Relationships Sometimes Mask Poor Communication", a study was done to determine if family and friends could understand each other as well as two strangers. They took twenty four married couples and put them back to back in chairs. Then they would ask the women to say something allowed to the husbands to see how they would interpret what the women said. When the study was done, the women thought that they were very clear on what they had said and that the men should have understood them.

To their surprise, the miscommunication between the couples was no different than that of strangers. An example of a common miscommunication in the study was "A wife who says to her husband, 'it's getting hot in here,' as a hint for her husband to turn up the air conditioning a notch, may be surprised when he interprets her statement as a coy, amorous advance instead," said study author Kenneth Savitsky, professor of psychology at Williams College in Williamstown, Mass., in the news release (Anonymous, 2011, pg. 1)".

In my family, there is always miscommunication. My wife and I have arguments all of the time because of small miscommunications. It could be as simple as when I do not understand that my wife wanted desert with her evening tea or as complicated as my wife not understanding that I meant for her to pay both child care facilities. These miscommunications can cause minor arguments or even worse, severe arguments, based on the severity of the situation. The most common problem that my wife and I have is the noise factor. The text book states that the

"noise refers to anything that disturbs or interrupts the communication process or is unrelated to

the message content (Sole, 2011, pg. 2.2)".

This is a serious problem with men, I believe, because we have "selective hearing", especially with our wives. When I am in another room and my wife yells something across the room, I might only hear what I want to hear. The other problem in my family is my father.

While growing up, my father was misunderstood. If you knew him you would understand that he was a very sarcastic person. When he would talk to strangers or friends that I might have brought over, he would say things that would insult people. Even though most



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